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Saturday, March 7, 2009

Okay, Who's Eating The Socks???

Lately, I’ve found myself pondering life’s more difficult questions. What is my purpose in life? The most burning question, where in the hell are all the socks going?

With seven people in our family, we, no, I wash a lot of clothes. (That’s another blog for another day.)

When I put clothes in the washer and dryer, generally, they come out. My son’s jeans, the girl’s school uniforms, and my husband’s work clothes, all go in and come out, successfully. Even under shirts, panties and bras go in, and come out. When it comes to socks, something or someone is happening to them. I’m serious, there has to be a sock thief, fairy or some other explanation.

A load of white clothes are sorted and put in the wash, with a full cup of Tide powder, and a softener ball of Snuggle Softener. After washing, rinsing and spinning, the load is then transferred from the washer to the dryer. The two are side by side. There is no traveling across the room, or out of the laundry room to a second location. I’ve learned from all my hours of watching CSI Miami, Law and Order, and Without A Trace that leaving the first location, (crime scene) most likely leads to death.

Once in the dryer, two Gain joyful expressions dryer sheets are added to the load. The timer is set for 80 minutes. All the clothes come out of the dryer, nice and warm, smelling fresh and clean. They are then transported to the den, the second location, for folding. Clothes are folded, and stacked in individual piles. No matter how many times this ritual is performed, the outcome is the same. At least five socks are left without a mate! How in the hell does that happen?

Now we have a basket full of mixed-matched socks of all types crew, ankle, three quarter, along with tube, athletic, dress, footie and thermal socks. Name brands range from Hanes to Starter, Fruit of the Loom and every thing in between. Once in a long while, we bring out the basket and try to mate the socks in that basket. The basket remains half full!

So what do we do with the mixed-matched socks? Glad you asked.

With all the socks that are missing a mate, the kid’s sock supply gets a little low. When in need of socks they go to “The Sock Basket,” retrieve, and wear a pair of mixed-matched socks. If you were to raise one of my children’s pants leg, at least two days a week, you may find them wearing an ankle sock with a crew sock, or any other combination.

So why don’t we just throw out the basket of mix-matched socks, and buy more? Then what would my kids wear???

5 comments:

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

The missing socks will turn up some day, like 5 years later, because they were hiding behind the hamper or under the bed all this time, never making it INTO the laundry in the first place!

And then there's the dog, of course.

annie b said...

I love this blog. It had me laughing all the way through because even though it is funny it is also true.

annie b said...

I love this blog and even though it is funny it is also true.

Tameque said...

Tonya, This is what I do. I buy some safety pins and everytime I take off my socks I pin them together at the toes before I put them in the dirty clothes hamper... without folder them one inside the other. Put them in the washer when it's time without having to finger through nasty socks and wash. When you take them out, they are still with their mate and you put them up... with the pin still attached. Remove the pin when you are ready to wear that pair. Keep a supply of pins near for convenience. I have done this for nearly 20 years and have lost hardly any socks. I have only lost one mate to all of Ivan's socks in his lifetime...2 1/2 years. Good luck with your family, mainly children, cooperating.

Me-Me King said...

You have it upon one of the greatest mysteries of life. Those of us who load the washer and dryer have been plagued with this most of our lives. I wish you luck in "unfolding" this secret.

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